Existential Parachute Pants: A 90′s Pop Culture Podcast – Episode 70: Hackers

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Hackers is the great love of Seth’s life (don’t tell his wife and children) so we finally got along to talking about it, because I finally got around to watching it. If you’ve ever wanted to see a film that encompasses either a vision of the 90′s from the 1940′s or from the 2040′s, then make it Hackers. Angelina Jolie is in it. Fisher Stevens too.

Links!

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/existential-parachute-pants/id680253940 We would appreciate a rating or a subscription or a review.

Twitter: @ExistentialPant, @ChrisXMorgan, and @SethMacy So tweet us up.

The theme song remains “Her Favorite Bra” by Dan Emery Mystery Band. Thanks for listening, all you Phantom Phreaks and Acid Burns.

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Chasing Angela Crazy

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Thanksgiving, right? It’s a way to think of a thing to write about. It’s also an easy way to find an episode of some humorous show to write about or whatever. Take, for example, Boy Meets World.

They had two Thanksgiving episodes. One was called “Turkey Day.” That’s pretty basic. I don’t know anything about it. It’s probably just basic Thanksgiving stuff. Then, there’s the second Thanksgiving episode. It is called “Chasing Angela-Part II.” I find this interesting, because the Thanksgiving episode is the second part of a two parter. It’s both a holiday episode and the second part of an ongoing story. That seems like an odd choice. I don’t know if that happens often. I also don’t know who Angela is, or who is chasing her, or why. All I know is Topanga is a character.

 

You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

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Homer Simpson Lives On The Second Floor

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How long has it been since I wrote about The Simpsons? Probably not very long, by the standards of all topics, but, in terms of my returning to The Simpsons as a topic, it has been awhile. So, let me take another moment to praise a show I have praised a million times.

In the episode “Realty Bites,” a great episode by the way, Homer buys Snake’s car at an auction, and Snake breaks out prison to get it back, even if it means killing Homer. At one point, Homer is driving Lil’ Bandit, the car in question, and happily singing. What is he singing? “Luka” by Suzanne Vega.

This is brilliant, and hilarious, and awesome. One, it’s a fairly obscure song, making it a nice reference. I mean people know the song, and it was a hit,  but it’s not super well-known. Two, singing it happily while you drive along in a convertible is incongruous to the serious subject matter and tone of the song. Three, Homer singing it. He’s butchering it in his happy obliviousness, and it’s just tremendous.

Could there have been better choices? Maybe, but I can’t think of one off the top of my head. And stay off the west side.

 

You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

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Bleep Bloop Heavy Metal

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This week, Metallica are doing a sort of residence on The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson. They were a guest on Monday, and they are doing musics every night. I do not like Metallica. I do not like “heavy metal,” as the kids call it. I know Metallica is the “pop” heavy metal band, as in they are the metal band that is more palatable to a wider audience. It still doesn’t really work for me.

However, back in the 90′s, things were slightly different. I thought Metallica was OK, I guess. They did represent tough guy rock and roll, at least, which had its appeal to a child of a certain age. But this was a pre-Napster world, but one with the internet. So what was a discerning child to do? Why, listen to MIDIs of course. You know MIDIs. They are sort of like chiptune or elevator music or whatever. They were used to take songs and break them down into something more basic. Honestly, they often sounded pretty alright. I mean, they had a pep in their steps, and were often melodic enough to be enjoyable.

There were a couple of Metallica songs I’d listen to the MIDIs of. “Enter Sandman,” of course. “Turn the Page,” their cover of Bob Seger. And also “Nothing Else Matters.” Here’s the thing; I’ve never heard the traditional, non-computerized version of “Nothing Else Matters.” Just the MIDI version. I have no real reference point for the real thing. All I know is some bleeps and bloops and cheery computer noises. It’s probably an improvement.

 

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Toby Huss, Superstud

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There is an episode of Seinfeld called “The Junk Mail.” It’s a weird one. It’s probably the episode I’ve seen the least, because it doesn’t really work for me. ‘Cuz it’s weird. Dana Gould is in it, but that’s not what’s important here.

I’m here to talk about the character of Jack. Elaine falls in love with him. He’s supposed to be super handsome. He has dreamy eyes, or so the legend goes. He also is The Wiz, a goofy TV pitchman, but that’s neither here nor there. The point is, this dude, this super handsome dude that Elaine falls in love with at first sight, is played by Toby Huss.

Toby Huss is, of course, Artie, the Strongest Man in the World. That’s what makes this so amusing to me. On Pete and Pete, Toby Huss plays a goofy, ridiculous superhero. He says “Pipe!” and stuff. And yet, here he is, playing a heartthrob. I find this incongruity very amusing. I know actors play different roles and stuff. And The Wiz and Artie are peas in a pod. But seeing the dude who played Artie playing a guy who is supposed to be dreamy? That’s a spicy meatball… of humorousness!

 

You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

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I Can, In Fact, Wait

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I have never seen the 1998 film Can’t Hardly Wait. It seems like it was made for teen agers at the time, and like older teenagers. Teenagers who can see the finish line of their high school careers. It is, after all, about a post-graduation party. But not, like, a “graduation party,” of which I went to many after I graduated high school. I was too young for this ish. Now, I have seen a couple minutes of it, and I realize I am absolutely much to old. And not dumb enough.

This is, it would seem, the laziest of high school movie bullshit. Like I said, I only saw a couple minutes, flipping over to it and stuff, presuming I might laugh at how dumb it was. Alas, it was not laughably dumb. Just dumb. Everything is so broad. The emotional crux of the story involves some random dude professing his love for the prom queen, played by Jennifer Love Hewitt. And it seems to sort of work kind of? I don’t know. Seth Green acts like he’s “black,” which I put into scare quotes because, of course, there is no inherent way that black people act. This movie still decides to mind the notion of a white dude “acting black.”

Jason Segal plays somebody called “Watermelon Guy” I did not see him in the handful of minutes I watched. I did, however, see Melissa Joan Hart as “Vicky, Yearbook Girl.” They do place The Replacements’ “Can’t Hardly Wait” over the credits, and that’s a great song. It also has nothing to do with this movie in any capacity.

In short, boo. Boo to this movie.

 

You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

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