My Head Is Like A Shark’s Fin

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Because of all the Sharknado junk, I wanted to talk about shark movies. Honestly, I’m not too enthused by this Sharknado stuff, man. I love MST3K, and I don’t mind ironic appreciation, but this isn’t really that. Sharknado is in on the joke, and so it just feels lazy and kind of hackneyed. I also like Black Dynamite, which is purposefully bad, but it is a spoof of blacksploitation films, so it makes sense. I mean, maybe there is some fun to Sharknado, but I’m not into it.

I can’t write about the Jaws movies, because they all predate the 90′s. I will say, though that I don’t like ANY of the Jaws movie. Yes, even the original. It’s a bummer and kind of exploitative and I only really like when the guys are on the boat. What did come out in the 90′s, though, is Deep Blue Sea. Now there’s a poorly made shark movie that stands on its principles. Also, Samuel L. Jackson gets eaten something fierce. So, there’s that.

Oh, and LL Cool J did a ridiculous music video and a ridiculous song around the release of the movie, wherein he refers to his head as being like a shark fin. And sharks do get cancer.

 

You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

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What I Am Here To Say

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This came close to being the first day without a post on Existential Parachute Pants since it started. However, much like Cal Ripken Jr., I have decided to burden people in my quest for glory, and so here’s a video of Barney Rubble rapping about Fruity Pebbles… and nothing else!

 

You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

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Why Are There So Many Teenaged Werewolves?

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Once upon a time, there was a movie called I Was A Teenage Werewolf. It starred Michael Landon and it was featured on MST3K and it’s not very good. It’s about a teenaged dude that gets turned into a werewolf through some magic or something. It’s dumb. Then, there was Teen Wolf. And Teen Wolf Too. There is also a Teen Wolf show now. Teen Wolf the movie had a teen wolf riding atop a van and also playing basketball. The new MTV one is a broody drama or some bullshit. It’s a teen wolf, dudes! Relax.

However, there was also Big Wolf on Campus. You probably haven’t heard of it. It’s a Canadian show than began airing in 1999, but it aired on Fox Family Channel in America, which is apparently a thing. In this show, a a senior named Tommy Dawkins is turned into the Pleasantville Werewolf and he ends up fighting monsters. I don’t know how the got away with naming a town Pleasantville in 1999.

Basically, what gives? Why so many teenaged werewolf stories? You might argue “puberty allegory” but I call bullshit on that. These guys are usually at the tail end of that in these shows. Like I said, Tommy is a senior. The dude in Teen Wolf Too is in college. There was also a I Was A Teenage Frankenstein, yet no Teen Frankenstein. No broody, moody Frankenstein. No Boof. Also, a lot of them play sports. But its only amusing in original Teen Wolf. Oh man, that movie.

In short, it’s time for me to get working on my teenaged Frankenstein pilot.

 

You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

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The Man Who Brought You A City Under Siege

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I’m here to talk to you about Peter Bonerz. First, grow up. We’re talking about television legend Peter Bonerz here. He played Jerry on The Bob Newhart Show! That’s why he’s on my mind, of course, as I have just begun the third season of that show, having watch over two seasons in, I believe, under a month. However, he’s also the proto-Fred Savage. Not because he played Kevin Arnold in the pilot of Wonder Years. That would have been weird. No, what I mean is that he carved out a very successful TV directing career for himself.

Sure, he also directed the sixth Police Academy movie, and get that money Peter Bonerz, but TV is where he made his bones. He directed 29 episodes of The Bob Newhart Show. He directed two episodes of Shit My Dad Says well into his 70s. In the 90′s, though, he directed a bunch of episodes of successful TV shows. Wings. NewsRadio. 93 episodes of Murphy Brown. 93! That’s a ton of episodes of television. 12 Friends! 29 Home Improvements! He directed the pilot of Good Morning, Miss Bliss, the predecessor to Saved by the Bell. He directed some ALF episodes too, and that show was notoriously hard to direct. I wrote about it in one of the very first posts on this blog.

He did a bit of acting in the 90′s too, including playing Jerry again but on Newhart’s third sitcom Bob, which I’ve also written about. I’ve written about a lot of stuff. Peter Bonerz was a part of a lot of stuff. Way to be. I feel good about all of us.

 

You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

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I Am The Cheese.

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We discussed Rocko’s Modern Life on our podcast episode about 90′s Nicktoons, but I shall discuss it more. It was a weird show in general, and particularly odd for children’s programming. It wasn’t really kid appropriate a lot of the time. Also, the first episode includes a story called “Who Gives A Buck.” Anyway, I’ve been watching the most recent iteration of Scooby-Doo, which is a discussion in its own right, one I shall not have at this moment, but the most recent episode involved a kid’s cartoon within this sort of kid’s cartoon (I say it’s more of a family friendly cartoon a la Shrek where an adult can watch it reasonably) and they were sort of commenting on cartoons and such. Naturally, I was reminded of Wacky Deli.

“Wacky Deli” is definitely the most interesting Rocko’s Modern Life episode. It’s a full half-hour story, and it’s absurd and bizarre. In the Rocko world, there is a cartoonist named Ralph Bighead, and he wants to stop being a cartoonist, so he lets Rocko, Heffer, and Filbert do a cartoon, and its Wacky Deli. It’s pure nonsense, but in a funny way. It also is a sort of commentary on cartoons. I mean, Wacky Deli is awful, but in a way that’s funny and bizarre. There is a portion of one episode where a meatloaf is massaged.

For one episode, Rocko’s Modern Life was a cartoon that made fun of lesser cartoons, and discussed the creative process. As opposed to most of the time, when it was about doing weird and gross things with anthropomorphic animals.

 

You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

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Existential Parachute Pants: A 90′s Pop Culture Podcast – Episode 53: Gremlins 2: The New Batch

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In the middle of this podcast, it is going to break, and then Hulk Hogan is going to show up and scare some gremlins into starting it back up. Maybe. Otherwise, you will just hear us talk with Scott Bromley about Gremlins 2: The New Batch, the sequel to 1984′s Gremlins. We are all enthused by this movie, and by Joe Dante, and also we talk about The Munsters.

You can find Scott Bromley on the Twitter, and he is a part of the podcast The Comedy Button, which is also on the Twitter. So, those are things that exist and can be consumed in some capacity if one is interested in doing so. We have plugs of our own, and here they are:

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/existential-parachute-pants/id680253940 Rate the show. Subscribe to the show. Leave a comment upon the show. It is all very easy.

Twitter: @ExistentialPant, @ChrisXMorgan, and @SethMacy is the name of the game.

Our theme song remains “Her Favorite Bra” by Dan Emery Mystery Band. We wish it was “New York, New York” as sung by Brain Gremlin. Thanks to Scott for joining us. Thanks to Gremlin 2 for existing.

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