Leslie Nielsen And David Cronenberg Intersect

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You know, sometimes Canada produces its own pop culture. Seriously. Then, sometimes, they laud themselves for it, just like they do in other countries, such as America. For example, they have their own movie award show. Of course, they only seem to have one, as opposed to the US of A, where we have about 50. In Canada, they’ve got the Genie Awards

Perusing the history of the Genies, I’ve heard of very few of these films, and very few of the actors. Canada is a whole different world, man. I used to live in Michigan too, where we got Canadian television, so I have some knowledge of Canadian culture. I’ve seen ads for Men With Brooms. I’ve seen ads for The Lighting Boutique. The latter is just a store that sells lighting fixtures, but the point is I know Canadian stuff.

Anyway, and naturally, Leslie Nielsen hosted the show twice. I bet he was pretty alright at it. He hosted in 1991 and 1992. In 1992, David Cronenberg’s Naked Lunch was the big winner. It got 11 nominations, and took a few, including Best Picture. Cronenberg also won for Dead Ringers. The Genies love Cronenberg. On the other hand, the only reason I’ve heard of Naked Lunch is because of a Simpsons joke about it. That’s not nothing, but it also isn’t based on the merits of the movie itself.

Leslie Nielsen was never on The Simpsons somehow. He did search for The Undertaker, though. And he hosted the Genie Awards. Not for nothing.

 

You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

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Clint Howard Ruins MTV’s Fun, And For The Better

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The MTV Movie Awards were this weekend. I have not watched it… maybe ever. The only MTV award show I can definitely remember watching is that MTV Music Awards where Fiona Apple gave that out there speech. The MTV Movie Awards, these days, give their awards to the most popular YA adaptation going on, right now it is Hunger Games stuff, but back in the day they’d give out all sort of weird awards. They also used to give out Lifetime Achievement Awards. Until Clint Howard put a stop to that.

This award was clearly a joke the moment it was given to Jason Vorhees in 1992, the first time it was handed out. Godzilla won in 1996, two years before he came back in his 1998 return vehicle, which we just discussed on the podcast. Chewbacca won one. So, that’s the kind of thing they did. They also gave one to Jackie Chan, which seems odd, and Richard Roundtree, which seems really odd. Even in 1994, how many teenagers were into Shaft, and wanted to see Shaft rewarded, even ironically?

Then, Clint Howard won in 1998. You know Clint Howard. Ron Howard’s brother. Generally considered to be an odd looking dude. I wouldn’t argue with that assessment. He shows up in a lot of small parts in stuff. He played Eaglebauer in Rock ‘N’ Roll High School, which is a feather in anybody’s cap. Part of the joke that night was that everybody kept saying “Clint,” which would make you assume it was Clint Eastwood. It wasn’t though. It was Cliff Howard. The Price is Right horn.

It was all going smoothly, and then Clint Howard got really enthused. He got emotional. He was happy. Was it a bit? Probably not. Nobody has said it was. Howard was just really happy to get an MTV Lifetime Achievement Award. And so, they retired it. They figured this was a good note to go out on. On Clint Howard being really happy to get an award he was given, in part, as a joke. That’s for the best.

 

You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

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Spring Break! Woo!

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In April, a young person’s thoughts turn to alcohol poisoning and varies diseases transmitted in a sexual nature. Or, as it is known in some circles, spring break. When I think of this collection of bacchanalian bullshit, I think, of course, about people being rolled up in a giant burrito on MTV.

Admittedly, I can’t say for certain I saw this in the 1990′s. MTV’s spring break coverage extended into the following decade, but I doubt I watched it. The late 90′s? That’s a time when I would have been interested in watching such nonsense. I’m sure there was various sexual dances and other stuff, but all I really remember is people being rolled up into a giant burrito.

I mean, I don’t need to explain it further. It was designed for a teenage audience too immature and stupid to handle anything genuinely sexual and not contrived stupidly, but too “grown up” to engage in any sort of “childish” things. So basically, it turned into sexual Double Dare. A dude and a lady got into a giant burrito, with burrito fixings, and then they got rolled up in it. So it is all messy and stuff but also there are two people in a giant burrito. This was a thing that happened on MTV to celebrate spring break.

This is all I have to say about spring break in general. It’s all about giant burritos being used as social and sexual lubricant. I don’t care how that sounds. I will fight you.

Hey guys. I looked this up on the internet. It definitely happened in 1999, and it was apparently called the “Fantasy Burrito.” That is a dumb name. It is a giant burrito. Nothing more, nothing less. Also, I just got the image from searching for giant burrito on the internet. It isn’t a sexual burrito. Not yet, at least. It can be. We can make it happen. We shouldn’t, but the possibility will live forever.

 

You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

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Existential Parachute Pants: A 90′s Pop Culture Podcast – Episode 38: Godzilla

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Do you like giant lizard things? Do you like Taco Bell tie-ins? Well then, this is the podcast episode for you! We discussed the 1998 Godzilla movie directed by Roland Emmerich. It stars Matthew Broderick. Puff Daddy is on the soundtrack. There is nothing more you need to know, but please listen anyway.

Links!

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/existential-parachute-pants/id680253940 Please leave a comment, subscribe, and rate the show. Just one click of a star. That’s all we ask for.

Twitter: @ExistentialPant, @ChrisXMorgan, @SethMacy Feel free to hit any of those accounts up. Especially Seth’s. That dude is on Twitter doin’ the tweetin’ a lot.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/epp90 This is a thing that exists.

Go go go go go go go Godzilla. Thanks for listening.

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With Ann B. Davis as Schultzy, a Trucker

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So, I’ve been watching season one of Cheers for the first time. One thing that I already know is that Diane is great, and Shelley Long is great, and why was she not able to become a bigger star? What happened there? She’s also good in Night Shift, but this isn’t about any of the good times for Long. It’s about the 90′s, so it’s about The Brady Bunch movies.

In the 90′s, they decided to make The Brady Bunch Movie. It’s ironic and campy and stuff. Basically, it takes the Bradys as they existed in the show and transported them to the 90′s. That is, admittedly, kind of clever. It is not without its charms, although I don’t know if it is enough meat for a full movie. Gary Cole plays Mike and Long plays Carol. Long is awesome as Carol. She’s the queen of the movie. Cole is good too, sure, but this is all about Shelley Long. The first movie had cameos from all the living Brady Bunch stars. Ann B. Davis, who played Alice in the show, plays a trucker named Schultzy. That’s kind of weird. In one of the two Brady Bunch movies, they use the song “Cut Your Hair” by Pavement. And that was the first time I heard what is now my favorite band.

A Very Brady Sequel is basically the time the show went to Hawaii, but then with some other nonsense thrown in there with Carol’s husband turning out to be actually alive. He isn’t, though. Tim Matheson is a con man. In a previous episode of the EPP podcast, I said it was Rob Lowe. I was incorrect. I also am getting the feeling like I’ve written about The Brady Bunch movies before. Maybe, maybe not. I think I at least mentioned that Pavement anecdote before in a post about hearing The Flaming Lips on the Batman Forever soundtrack. It’s all starting to run together.

Anyway, things got so bleak that Long ended up in a TV movie wherein Mike and Carol are PRESIDENT AND VICE PRESIDENT OF THESE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Long was the best thing about one of the most beloved sitcoms of all time, and her most notable role besides Diane is playing Carol Brady in joke movies.

 

You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

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Rappin’ Stephen Colbert

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Stephen Colbert just for the job as David Letterman’s replacement at The Late Show. While I love The Colbert Report, I’m fine with this, because Colbert is one of the comedic geniuses of our time, and now he will get a whole extra half hour, and a whole extra day of the week. I’ve already written about Strangers with Candy, a show that co-starred Colbert, on this blog, but there is another Colbert-based rabbit hole I can go down.

Back before he was one of the biggest stars on television, Colbert was just a dude with a Second City background and a burgeoning career. It was at this point he appeared on the Drew Carey-hosted version of Whose Line is it Anyway?, the short-form improv show that introduced improv to a lot of people. He only appeared twice, but those two appearances have become lore, because he’s Stephen Colbert, and here he is doing very goofy, silly, hit-or-miss improv.

Somebody uploaded 10 minutes of Colbert on Whose Line on YouTube. They also spelled the title of the show as “Whose Line is is Anyways?,” so there’s that.

Long live Stephen Colbert.

 

You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

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