Existential Parachute Pants: A 90′s Pop Culture Podcast

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The Man Who Brought You A City Under Siege

Posted by on Jul 28, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


I’m here to talk to you about Peter Bonerz. First, grow up. We’re talking about television legend Peter Bonerz here. He played Jerry on The Bob Newhart Show! That’s why he’s on my mind, of course, as I have just begun the third season of that show, having watch over two seasons in, I believe, under a month. However, he’s also the proto-Fred Savage. Not because he played Kevin Arnold in the pilot of Wonder Years. That would have been weird. No, what I mean is that he carved out a very successful TV directing career for himself.

Sure, he also directed the sixth Police Academy movie, and get that money Peter Bonerz, but TV is where he made his bones. He directed 29 episodes of The Bob Newhart Show. He directed two episodes of Shit My Dad Says well into his 70s. In the 90′s, though, he directed a bunch of episodes of successful TV shows. Wings. NewsRadio. 93 episodes of Murphy Brown. 93! That’s a ton of episodes of television. 12 Friends! 29 Home Improvements! He directed the pilot of Good Morning, Miss Bliss, the predecessor to Saved by the Bell. He directed some ALF episodes too, and that show was notoriously hard to direct. I wrote about it in one of the very first posts on this blog.

He did a bit of acting in the 90′s too, including playing Jerry again but on Newhart’s third sitcom Bob, which I’ve also written about. I’ve written about a lot of stuff. Peter Bonerz was a part of a lot of stuff. Way to be. I feel good about all of us.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

I Am The Cheese.

Posted by on Jul 27, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


We discussed Rocko’s Modern Life on our podcast episode about 90′s Nicktoons, but I shall discuss it more. It was a weird show in general, and particularly odd for children’s programming. It wasn’t really kid appropriate a lot of the time. Also, the first episode includes a story called “Who Gives A Buck.” Anyway, I’ve been watching the most recent iteration of Scooby-Doo, which is a discussion in its own right, one I shall not have at this moment, but the most recent episode involved a kid’s cartoon within this sort of kid’s cartoon (I say it’s more of a family friendly cartoon a la Shrek where an adult can watch it reasonably) and they were sort of commenting on cartoons and such. Naturally, I was reminded of Wacky Deli.

“Wacky Deli” is definitely the most interesting Rocko’s Modern Life episode. It’s a full half-hour story, and it’s absurd and bizarre. In the Rocko world, there is a cartoonist named Ralph Bighead, and he wants to stop being a cartoonist, so he lets Rocko, Heffer, and Filbert do a cartoon, and its Wacky Deli. It’s pure nonsense, but in a funny way. It also is a sort of commentary on cartoons. I mean, Wacky Deli is awful, but in a way that’s funny and bizarre. There is a portion of one episode where a meatloaf is massaged.

For one episode, Rocko’s Modern Life was a cartoon that made fun of lesser cartoons, and discussed the creative process. As opposed to most of the time, when it was about doing weird and gross things with anthropomorphic animals.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

Existential Parachute Pants: A 90′s Pop Culture Podcast – Episode 53: Gremlins 2: The New Batch

Posted by on Jul 26, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


In the middle of this podcast, it is going to break, and then Hulk Hogan is going to show up and scare some gremlins into starting it back up. Maybe. Otherwise, you will just hear us talk with Scott Bromley about Gremlins 2: The New Batch, the sequel to 1984′s Gremlins. We are all enthused by this movie, and by Joe Dante, and also we talk about The Munsters.

You can find Scott Bromley on the Twitter, and he is a part of the podcast The Comedy Button, which is also on the Twitter. So, those are things that exist and can be consumed in some capacity if one is interested in doing so. We have plugs of our own, and here they are:

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/existential-parachute-pants/id680253940 Rate the show. Subscribe to the show. Leave a comment upon the show. It is all very easy.

Twitter: @ExistentialPant, @ChrisXMorgan, and @SethMacy is the name of the game.

Our theme song remains “Her Favorite Bra” by Dan Emery Mystery Band. We wish it was “New York, New York” as sung by Brain Gremlin. Thanks to Scott for joining us. Thanks to Gremlin 2 for existing.

Dining Car

Posted by on Jul 25, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Train, the band not the rustic form of transportation, first struck it big in 1999 with the song “Meet Virginia.” It is a dumb song, and they are not a good band. However, let us presuppose there was a restaurant serving Train themed food. Certainly there would be a Meat Virginia dish. I don’t know what it would be. Meat would be in it. I don’t know what to do with the Virginia. Do they have a particular kind of BBQ they do? Can I just steal North Carolina BBQ practices? I will.

Other possible meals: Drops of Juniper (Shell Me) – Juniper flavored shellfish. Calling All Angel Food – Self-explanatory. Hey Sole Sister – Don’t make me explain this shit to you. This’ll Be My Beer – I guess this is, like, a drink maybe? Mermaid – An actual mermaid. It’s horrifying. We don’t even like serving it. But we must. Our hands our tied. Angel In Bleu Cheese – This is the dumbest thing to ever happen.

My last piece was a pun related game board themed around Michael Olowokandi. Maybe writing a blog post every day for over a year is getting to me. Or maybe the real me is finally seeping through the cracks. I AM Train puns. I AM Metaluna. Metal Tuna. It’s tuna with metal in it.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.


Posted by on Jul 24, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


In the 90′s, Michael Jordan and Shaquille O’Neal both got video games. There’s more to that, though. They weren’t basketball video games. They had, like, fighting and stuff. Evil scientists and grenade basketballs and nonsense. But why did Air Jordan and Shaq get games when nobody else did? There was one other obvious choice. I speak of Michael Olowokandi.

Olowokandi was the first overall pick in the 1998 NBA Draft and then, from there, nobody can argue that he didn’t have a career. He was known as the Candy Man, and, as such, obviously what we needed was Olowokandiland.

It wouldn’t be like the board game Candyland, other than the fact candy would be involved. I imagine Olowokandi going through all sorts of candy levels in a side scroller. He could maybe throw basketballs at stuff, and jump on things. Oh, and then at the end of the level he has to jump up and dunk on a rim. But, it would be automatic, like when you ended a Mario level and he just took himself into a pipe or whatever. You get to the end of the level, you pick up, like, a big gumball, and you dunk it. Because candy.

There would be evil candy bad guys. At a certain point you have to decide if the candy is going to be an aesthetic, or if they will be good guys and the bad guys will be, like, vegetables, or if candy will also be villains. There would be candy villains. Maybe the big bad is a giant chocolate bar that shoots chocolate at you? These are all good ideas.

Now, all I need is somebody to get me back to 1998 so I can pitch this.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

The Busboy’s Coming

Posted by on Jul 23, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Since we just had the one-year anniversary of Existential Parachute Pants, and so this is the first post of the second year of this entity, I wanted to look at the second season of a classic show. I decided against The Simpsons, to get the second year off on the right foot. This whole endeavor gets perilously close to just being a Simpsons project at times. So, I went with Seinfeld, especially because it has an interesting second season.

The story behind Seinfeld is one of a show defying the odds and becoming the biggest hit in the world. The first few seasons weren’t even all that well seen at the time. A lot of fans didn’t seem them until reruns. The thing of it is, that might have been beneficial. The first couple seasons of Seinfeld aren’t that good. I mean, they’re fine, but I don’t know if there is a single great episode in the first two seasons.

The second season is only 12 episodes, and while it feels more like the Seinfeld we know and love than season one, it isn’t quite there. The pacing is slower. The stories are less complex. Their relationships, with one another and with other people, is weird at times. Yes, the second season has “The Chinese Restaurant.” Yes, that was a pretty bold idea. However, it isn’t all that funny of an episode. It’s more clever than anything else. It’s amusing, I enjoy it, but it’s not tremendous by any means. Also, James Hong favorited a tweet of mine once. Because I mentioned him in it. Because he was in an episode of The Bob Newhart Show that Pat Morita was also in. Hong plays a guy a character mistakes for the maitre’d, and for a moment it seems like it will be just like “The Chinese Restaurant” and I almost lost my mind. It’s all a fake out though. Oh, and the guy who played Uncle Leo was in an episode with Henry Winkler aka the motherfucking Fonz!

Now, season three? Season three is Seinfeld. You know what other show really took a step forward in season 3? The Simpsons. Also, a lot of shows. Like, a ton of them.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

Look How Far We’ve Come My Baby

Posted by on Jul 22, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Today is July 22, 2014. That doesn’t really mean much in and of itself. It is not, from what I know, Christmas or Bastille Day or what have you. What it is, however, is the one year anniversary of Existential Parachute Pants. On July 22 2013, I made the first post on this blog. It was the beginning of a pop culture project I was excited for. I would be writing about 90′s pop culture, not from a place of nostalgia from a place of humor and criticism and… other stuff. Look, I will admit that there was no clear gimmick or point of view to Existential Parachute Pants. I just wrote what I felt like writing.

And I wrote every day. Not a single day in that time was there not a post on EPP. Although, funnily enough, I almost missed yesterday if only because I had a post saved as a draft and almost forgot to publish it. This was done with intention. I wanted to write new content every day, and I did, and I am pleased with myself. Sure, did I usually just screw around in Wikipedia until I found something that amused me most of the time? Absolutely, but in the process I found all sorts of pop culture from the 90′s I didn’t even know about. I enjoyed it. I gained knowledge, trivial knowledge but knowledge nonetheless, and then I wrote some stuff for the world.

Did all of this amount to much? I don’t know, and, frankly, my guess is not really. Was I hoping to find some traction or something? Sure. I mean, I work professionally as a freelance writer, mostly writing about pop culture and sports. OK, writing entirely about pop culture and sports. I felt like, maybe, 365 straight days of posts could be beneficial to me. Maybe somebody would stumble on something. Maybe I’d get some work. That hasn’t happened, and that’s disappointing, but that is what it is. I regret nothing about the project.

I don’t know how much you, the hypothetical you reading this, read of this blog. I hope you enjoyed it. Also, I realize I am saying a lot of this in the past tense. That is perhaps misleading. The Existential Parachute Pants blog is not ending. Like I said, I enjoy it, and like I said, I have received little to no practical benefit from it to this point. I’m not going to give up now. And, of course, the podcast is going strong. For any questions I have about the reach of this blog, the podcast seems to be doing well. Plus, I love pop culture, so it’s not like this is a cosmic hassle to me.

I hope that the first year of Existential Parachute Pants, the blog and the podcast, has brought you joy. We’ve had joy, we’ve had fun, I dare say we’ve ever had seasons in the Sun. Also, a lot of posts about The Simpsons and Weird Al and bizarre video games from the 90′s. As I stated on Twitter once, every time I write a new post and I have to put an image on it, I see some of the images from past posts, and it reminds me of all the ridiculous stuff I’ve been writing about. One of the first posts was imagining a Werner Herzog movie about the making of ALF. Get ready for another year of that.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

The Moon And The Stars In The Sky

Posted by on Jul 22, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


The “song of the summer” is a topic that always gets broached this time of year. Right now, the leader in the clubhouse is Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy” but that’s not the 90′s. I decided to dip into the 90′s to look for a song of the summer. I went to 1994, because it’s 20 years ago and yeah I know that’s arbitrary and stuff, but whatevs.

Anyway, there isn’t any real question about the song of the summer for 1994. From the week of May 21 through the week of July 30, “I Swear” by All-4-One was the number one song of the country. That’s pretty definitive. I remember this song. It’s OK. It’s from the days of R&B guy groups singing love songs and being popular. I mean, for pretty much the rest of 1994 Boyz II Men topped the charts with a couple different songs. In between it was “Stay” by Lisa Loeb. Man, 1994 was a soft year for music.

That also feels anathema to summer song style. It’s usually all about jams and dope beats and stuff. “I Swear” does not have. It has love declarations and stuff. That’s fine, but it’s not party music. Not even in 1994. Lisa Loeb would agree. Wait, “I Swear” is a cover of a country song! This changes everything.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

Watch Out For Snakes!

Posted by on Jul 20, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


You may know the actor Richard Kiel because he was super tall and he was Jaws in the Bond movies, but not in Jaws, or even Jaws: The Revenge. I bet he could have played a shark. To a certain generation, he is probably best known for being in Happy Gilmore, playing the really tall guy.

He was also in Eegah!, playing the titular Eegah, who is some sort of caved man. It is well known in the MST3K world for the terribly ADR’ed line, “Watch out for snakes!” As such, I am disappointed that they didn’t have Kiel say “Watch out for snakes” during Happy Gilmore. I mean, there could be snakes on a golf course. It would have made sense. Maybe somebody who worked on the movie had seen that episode. They are comedy fans and all, but maybe they weren’t into Mystery Science Theater 3000. Although, I don’t even think they made any Jaws references.

Look, we’re talking about a movie about a crass hockey player turned golfer and he fights Bob Barker and people wear KISS masks. It wouldn’t have felt out of place. Then again, maybe they didn’t want to mix snakes and gators. Watch out for gators! Somebody could have said that.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

Existential Parachute Pants: A 90′s Pop Culture Podcast – Episode 52: The Simpsons

Posted by on Jul 19, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


We decided to declare this our one-year anniversary episode, and as such we decided to talk about The Simpsons for one, final time. So, if you are tired of us talking about the greatest artistic achievement of mankind, you’re in luck. However, we did not merely talk amongst ourselves. Instead, we invited in Dr. Karma Waltonen, professor and co-writer of a book about teaching The Simpsons in the classroom, to join us. She knows her stuff, obviously, and we were happy to have her.

You can find Karma on Twitter here: @KarmaWaltonen. Also, you can find stuff out about her Simpsons related stuff at @Simpsonology. Check that stuff out if you enjoy The Simpsons, and I assume you do, because you are a human being of flesh and blood. Now, for the more traditional plugs for the Existential Parachute Pants podcast:

We are on the iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/existential-parachute-pants/id680253940 So give us a rating or subscribe or leave a comment. Look, we’ve given you 52 episodes, plus the bonus episode about The Phantom Menace with the terrible audio. To return the favor, could you perhaps just simply give us a rating or something? It takes pretty much zero time, and it allows us to grow in stature on iTunes, which remains the foremost source of podcasts for the everyman.

On the Twitter, we are at @ExistentialPant, @ChrisXMorgan, and @SethMacy, and on Facebook, we are also an entity: https://www.facebook.com/epp90

The theme song remains “Her Favorite Bra” by Dan Emery Mystery Band. Thanks for listening. It’s been a fine year of podcasting. We’ve certainly enjoyed ourselves. I hope you’ve enjoyed it as well, as the passive listener with no stake in Existential Parachute Pants.