Existential Parachute Pants: A 90′s Pop Culture Podcast

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Man Getting Hit With Football

Posted by on Sep 29, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Well, I was somehow snookered into watching the crossover episode between The Simpsons and Family Guy. To be fair, I wasn’t so much “snookered” as I was feeling good after a new Simpsons and Brooklyn Nine-Nine, so I decided to let it ride. Plus, The Simpsons guys had given it their OK, so I thought it might be worth a shot.

I am, thus, reminded of “A Star Is Burns,” another Simpsons crossover, this time between The Simpsons and The Critic. However, these are not exactly peas in the pod. I like both The Simpsons and The Critic. I, by and large, despise Family Guy. It was also written by guys who wrote for The Simpsons, under The Simpsons’ watch, and played out like a Simpsons episode. It’s funny, it focuses on Homer, Jay Sherman is a secondary character, albeit a major one.

Also, I just had a revelation about this episode. Jay gets roughed up by Patti and Selma after Homer feeds them some information they do not like hearing. He “badmouths” McGyver in Bart’s words. How, pray thee tell, did he badmouth McGyver? He said he was gay. Jay said McGyver is gay, as in a homosexual not “gay” like how douchey teens use it, so Patti and Selma beat him up. Meanwhile, Patti is now an out lesbian on the show, and it was implied that she was a lesbian many times over. So, you know, it plays kind of weird. It makes Patti and Selma out as being so virulently homophobic they beat up a man for intimating McGyver, or the actor Richard Dean Anderson, is gay.

Anyway, the Simpsons/Family Guy thing was decent. I don’t regret watching it. Don’t cry for me, I’m already dead.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

They Call It The Schizo Look

Posted by on Sep 28, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


There is an episode of the television program Doug I was thinking of early yesterday. There is some popular show, I think it is sort of Beverly Hills, 90210 like or whatever, and, in one episode, the main character dresses like Doug. Now, he does not do it with intent. He, unlike us, doesn’t know who Doug Funnie is. The dude lives in Bluffington! However, because kids are stupid, all the kids start dressing like the character, and in turn like Doug. So now, Doug just bleeds into the background, and he feels weird and tries to dress in different ways. In the end, Doug learns to be himself, because this is a show for children, and then in a final turn, a new episode of the show has aired, so everybody is dressed in a different fashion. They are, in fact, dressed like his best friend Skeeter Valentine.

Here’s the thing. A guy randomly dressing like Doug I get. Doug just wears khaki shorts, a white t-shirt, and a green sweater vest. Skeeter, though, wears weird, like, harem pants (dare I call them… Parachute Pants!?) that are yellow and have red dots on them, and also he wears a red t-shirt with a yellow lightning bolt on it. There is no logical way that some guy would randomly wear this when it is already somebody else’s go to look. This I can’t accept as a contrivance. A dude who is blue? I’m all in! This whole rigamarole, though? No dice, fuck faces! Also, that is just ratcheted up by Doug and Skeeter being friends.

Maybe somebody is scouting the kids of Bluffington for hot, fresh looks. And then maybe the show got canceled, because going forward nobody really wore clothes again. They just wore their classic looks. Alas, answers were never provided.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

Existential Parachute Pants: A 90′s Pop Culture Podcast – Episode 62: Weezer

Posted by on Sep 27, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


This week, we discuss Weezer’s first titular album, also known as The Blue Album. It’s like The White Album, but bluer. And worse. Or is it? Like Daria, this topic divided us. One of us had to front in another of our classic song by song album reviews.


iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/existential-parachute-pants/id680253940 Please iTune us by rating the show, subscribing, or leaving a comment

Twitter: @ExistentialPant, @ChrisXMorgan, @SethMacy We are always available for various tweetery

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/epp90 I’ve seen The Social Network

The theme song remains “Her Favorite Bra” by Dan Emery Mystery Band. Thanks for listening. Perhaps in your garage. Or another Weezer reference.

Cartoon Spokesdogs

Posted by on Sep 26, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


I was recently recording a future episode of the Existential Parachute Pants podcast with Seth, and he said something that reminded me of a commercial, and then I almost made a non-sequitur quote from the ad. However, I didn’t, but I shall indulge in such things now.

Anyway, it was for some sort of popsicle. Did you know this blogging platform considers popsicle a proper noun? This popping sicle had no connection to any true, proper pop culture. It was just an ad for some god damn popsicle. It was a bunch of different colors, and therefore a bunch of flavors. This dude unwraps it, and he basically is all like, “My God, it’s full of stars.” Only he says, “The colors, Duke, the colors!” Duke is his dog. The dog, in non-traditional fashion, speaks, informing his human companion, “I’m color blind kid.”

This, of course, strikes a tragic note, as the dog is missing out on so much beauty. Also, it would make driving a car and stuff more difficult. I mean, traffic stuff, not the actual act of driving, although it couldn’t help. In real life, nobody cares, because dogs are stupid animals who don’t know what they are missing out on. And, in a sense, I suppose this is not necessarily a sad thing. It’s just the nature of the beast, genetically. I mean, I can’t dunk a basketball, but there are many other positive experiences one can have. Not being able to experience all positive experiences is not in and of itself negative. If you can still find joy, like perhaps Duke does, then you aren’t really being held back. Black and white movies can be beautiful in their own right. Have you seen Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid? I think that may have come out in the 90′s, which is why I referenced it.

My point is this; that popsicle had a lot of colors, but to a dog it is irrelevant. All a dog would want from a popsicle is for it to taste good. Also, they’d just end up biting into it, and also maybe eating the wooden stick. I don’t know if this particular popsicle had riddles on the stick. Riddles designed to get you to finish eating your popsicle for the answer, I presume.

Is this even pop culture? What if I mentioned, like, Odie the dog? Does this make sense for this blog now? Yes, I say, and I am in charge. Like Charles. I think that’s an 80′s show.

Oh hey, I just learned some stuff by searching the internet. One, the popsicle was a bunch of colors, but they were, like, colors within colors. I have seen both in some capacity. This one was layer by layer, not top to bottom. Second, Duke appears to see in color, but just not the right colors. Or, rather, the colors that we are seeing. Who is to say what the “right” colors are? I am, and Duke sees the wrong ones.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

Full Metal Elephant Jacket

Posted by on Sep 25, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


In some Asian countries, in order to say something is bad, you say it is “Number 10,” as opposed to saying something is “Number 1.” You know how I know this? Because of Operation Dumbo Drop. This is arguably the best movie about the Vietnam War and dropping elephants from the sky starring Danny Glover and Ray Liotta. Also, James Hong is in it. Denis Leary too, but mostly James Hong.

So, you learn things, and you see a Vietnam movies and elephants and stuff. It’s a family movie, I think? I mean, it’s not NOT a family movie. Which makes it kind of odd that it’s about Vietnam. But, you know, in a positive way. It’s a very positive Vietnam movie. In terms of elephant movies, it’s about standard in terms of feel goodness. Is there an elephant horror movie? Or an elephant monster movie? Has anybody ever been terrorized by an elephant in a movie? There is a Simpsons episode with that. Now we need a movie. This time, the drop is on us.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

Hail C.O.V.N.E.T.

Posted by on Sep 24, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


I have not seen Muppets from Space. All I know is that after it came out in 1999, it put a real kibosh on the Muppets. I think the movie is about Gonzo being an alien. I mean, I have the Wikipedia page open right now. I could just look that up, but I feel like guessing. All I know is that there is something called C.O.V.N.E.T. in it, and I bet they are the bad guys. Jeffrey Tambor is their leader.

What amuses me, and why I decided to write about this, is that Hulk Hogan appears as Man in Black/Himself, an operative of C.O.V.N.E.T. However, what’s amusing is that he is credited as Hollywood Hogan. That’s right, he was credited as his heel persona. He was Hollywood Hogan at the time, so he played a bad guy in the movie, and probably had his whole black look going on. I mean, he’s the Man in Black.

Oh, also Josh Jackson and Katie Holmes play their characters from Dawson’s Creek.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

Fish City’s Alright…

Posted by on Sep 23, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


You know what was cool? When The Ramones were on The Simpsons. The Simpsons is great. The Ramones were a very good band. Their appearance was funny, as they sang their own birthday song to Mr. Burns, and then told him to go to hell, that old bastard.

However, less thought well remembered, and less fondly remembered, is when Fear appeared on Fish Police.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

In A Word…

Posted by on Sep 22, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments



Also, did you know that album is a concept album? I mean, the album that song is on. I refuse to tell you the name of the album, or the name of the band. That’s your responsibility. I can’t do everything for you. I am pushing you out of the nest. Spread your wings and fly away! I believe you can soar! Et cetera. (P)et(er) cetera. The Humpty Dance is a very good song. Songs are supposed to have quotation marks around them. Traditionally. But let us not stand on ceremony, and by that, I mean the Joy Division/New Order song. I heard a Galaxie 500 cover of that song today. It was quite good. It may have came out in the 90′s. I didn’t check.

Hip hop? Hooray.

Even by the standard of stream of consciousness nonsense, this is particularly flimsy. Also, the image has nothing to do with the subject of this post. It is a red herring. Girl with the red herring. Words that sound like other words.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

The Grill Next Dour (Or: Writing Blog Titles Is Difficult)

Posted by on Sep 21, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Hi. This is Chris Morgan. You may remember me from my previous post on this blog about watching, like, five minutes of Friends and deciding Monica was my favorite character because Courtney Cox was giving the only interesting performance. Well, recently, I’ve also found myself seeing a few minutes of That 70′s Show. And I am here to tell you that Laura Prepon gives far and away the best performance of all the main characters.

Now, my relationship with That 70′s Show is different than my relationship with Friends, because I actually watched That 70′s Show and I remember it well. However, now, in these modern times, as I gazed upon a few fleeting moments of the show, Laura Prepon gets two thumbs up. Now, I’m not saying Donna is my favorite character. In fact, she is probably the least interesting character, though that’s not her fault. She’s just basically the girl next door love interest. She has no hook, no quirk she can play up. She’s not the lead, either, so the world is not of her image. However, despite this, Prepon gets the most out of what she’s given. Just the way she delivers her lines made me laugh for every line I saw her deliver. Sure, it was, like, four lines, but what a four lines!

As such, I am a little disappointed her post-That 70′s Show output is so limited, and seemingly not very good. I mean, only really Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis emerged from the show as successes, and funnily enough, they were also the ones playing the good looking ones of the group. Which is not to say Ms. Prepon is considered some sort of hideous sea crone, and I know this because she got to star in a TV show. Even Topher Grace hasn’t done much but play poker and start that website that maybe he’s still doing. I know Prepon is on Oranges: The New Black, but I’m never going to watch that because the premise seems like a bummer and Jenji Kohan created it and I fucking hate Weeds.

In conclusion, Courtney Cox and Laura Prepon need to do a show together.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

Existential Parachute Pants: A 90′s Pop Culture Podcast – Episode 61: Men In Black

Posted by on Sep 20, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Here come(s) the Men in Black (episode of this podcast). This week, we discuss the Tommy Lee Jones vehicle Men in Black, where aliens walk among us, just like in Earth Girls Are Easy! Tune in to hear how we feel about the film, and the Universal Studios ride, and also to hear us take more shots at Independence Day.


iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/existential-parachute-pants/id680253940 Please rate, subscribe, and leave a comment.

Twitter: @ExistentialPant, @ChrisXMorgan, @SethMacy Please follow or tweet at us or whatever you do with Twitter. That’s not to say I don’t know how Twitter works. I’m just saying that we all do different things with the medium.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/epp90 You can book our faces AND face our books.

The theme song remains “Her Favorite Bra” by Dan Emery Mystery Band. Thanks for listening. And remember, the truth is out there!