Existential Parachute Pants: A 90′s Pop Culture Podcast

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Just Hook It To My Veins!

Posted by on Aug 21, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Today begins the FXX Simpsons marathon wherein every episode of The Simpsons will be shown. I have not written about The Simpsons as much in recent times, but this is an occasion for it. Of course, I don’t necessarily have anything to say.

What is there to say? It’s The Simpsons! On all day every day until they show every episode of the show. The 90′s will be up first. You’ll get a few days of that, which means you will get prime Simpsons. It’s top notch stuff. Huzzah. You should just be able to check in and check out and see good stuff. I mean, I’ve seen pretty much every episode from the first, I don’t know, 18 seasons a bunch of times. I’ve seen the ones from seasons two through 10 a billion times WITH audio commentary, let alone without them.

Basically, watch The Simpsons. Tune in. See some great stuff. Sleep, or see space coyotes.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

Martha Quinn Married Bobby Brady

Posted by on Aug 20, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Martha Quinn has been on my mind a lot recently, for an obvious reason. Which is to say, she played herself in an episode of Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated. Really. She owned a record store in Crystal Cove. Martha Quinn! Quinn was, of course, one of the original MTV VJs. Now, that makes her before my time, but I am still aware of her. Because she is Martha Quinn, and she was on MTV. Also, she was on The Bradys.

Now, The Bradys is not The Brady Bunch, but it sort of is. The Bradys was an hour long show in 1990 that was more dramedy than sitcom. There were serious issues and such. It’s some real over the top shit, based just on reading the synopsis. It only aired six episodes, but all the original Brady Bunch, including Mike and Carol and Alice, were there, save for the original Marcia. She opted out. Anyway, guess who married Bobby Brady? That’s right, Martha Quinn.

For further evidence of the heavy handedness of this show, Bobby is a race car driver, much like Jerry, in the first episode. He gets in an accident and is rendered paraplegic. Then he marries Martha Quinn. This is what The Bradys was about.

Maybe that’s why people didn’t want. They wanted to watch the Brady kids do dumb kid shit and moon over Davy Jones. They didn’t want to see a barren, middle-aged Jan adopt a Korean baby.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

And It Opened Up My Eyes

Posted by on Aug 19, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


I’ve had “The Sign” by Ace of Base on my head pretty much all day, aside from the time where I was listening to musics for an upcoming episode of the podcast. What was it? Tune in to find out! Anyway, “The Sign.” It was quite popular. I do believe it hit the number one spot of all the songs in this country. People love their Swedish disco pop.

If there is anything that makes this song resonate with people, I think, it is the fact that “The Sign” expresses that most substantive of existential truths; Life IS demanding without understanding. I know it. You know it. We all know it. Life with understanding? Smooth as silk. But without it? Oh, the demandingness! I can’t stand it.

So, that’s what it’s all about. That’s why people love “The Sign.” That’s why people love Ace of Base. They should be Ace of Bass, because it’s music, but then again they shouldn’t, because bass wasn’t a big element of their songs. So, basically, it could go either way.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

The Weirdest MTV Movie Award

Posted by on Aug 18, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


The MTV Movie Awards don’t make sense to me sometimes. I mean, sometimes it totally makes sense, based on what I think about MTV’s core audience. In recent years, it has been all Twilight all the time, and then some Hunger Games. However, sometimes the winners, and the nominees, don’t really make sense. Not because of my perception of the taste of teenagers, really, but because so much of the time the winners and such seem inappropriate for the teenaged audience.

Case in point, in 1994, Demi Moore and Woody Harrelson won Best Kiss for Indecent Proposal. Teenagers were watching that shit? It doesn’t make sense! And that’s not a kiss to be celebrated. Dana Carvey and Kim Basinger in Wayne’s World 2? Absolutely! But Demi and Woody? No dice.

By the way, Harrelson got nominated for quite a few of these. Also, Winona Ryder. Harrelson got a nomination alongside Juliette Lewis for Natural Born Killers! Wild Things AND Lolita got nominations in 1999. Oh, and when Lewis and Robert De Niro kissed in Cape Fear. This is a weird category, man. What’s your deal, MTV audience?


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

It Was All A Dream

Posted by on Aug 17, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Remember the Sega Dreamcast? It was a short-lived gaming system that came out in these United States in 1999, and was gone by 2001. I actually played it a couple times, but only for sporting games. There were many more games that released. Some have names that amuse me or seem interesting. Here they are:

TNN Motorsports HardCore Heat – The best part is hardcore being one word, but the “C” being capitalized.

Time Stalkers – The stalk time! Then again, don’t we all?

Dynamite Cop – The best kind of cop. The kind that uses dynamite.

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure – Look, a dude names Jojo goes on an adventure, and I’m in. But a bizarre adventure? Sign me up!

Elemental Gimmick Gear – The title of this game made so little sense, I had to look it up on Wikipedia to see what it was about. It still doesn’t make sense.

Those are the ones from the 90′s. There were others, but they are from another time. Perhaps I should stalk them.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

Existential Parachute Pants: A 90′s Pop Culture Podcast – Episode 56: X-Men

Posted by on Aug 16, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Kitty Pryde isn’t just a rapper, as we discuss in this week’s episode of the podcast about the X-Men in the 90′s. By “we,” I mean your usual hosts, but also returning guest Ramsey Ess and actual human person Andrew Beckerman. We talk about the comics, even though I know nothing about them, and then also the cartoon and some video games. I mean, we try and talk about this stuff.

Look, this episode turned out a bit unusual, as will become clear when you listen to it and hear me get a bit aggravated. Andrew had a certain sensibility and dynamic he decided to bring to the show, and I was not always happy about it. But, it is what it is, and you should maybe try and listen to Snap Impression, their podcast. Ramsey and Andrew are also both on Twitter in individual human form. Try and find them. Make it a little journey for yourself. Also, Kitty Pryde just calls herself Kitty now, but I think that’s dumb, so I refuse to accept reality.

We have links of our own.

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/existential-parachute-pants/id680253940 Please iTunes us. Subscribe, rate the show, leave a comment perhaps. We’d very much appreciate any and all of that.

Twitter: @ExistentialPant @ChrisXMorgan and @SethMacy That’s us. Hit us up. Let us know what you think. About 90′s pop culture, about anything. We are willing listeners. I’m not actually. Unless you want to talk about pop culture, at which point I will drain the life force from your body with my nonstop prattling. Oh, the prattling!

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/epp90 Our Facebook page looks different. Did Facebook redesign itself? I have no idea. This is the only Facebook page I go to.

Our theme song remains “Her Favorite Bra” by Dan Emery Mystery Band. Thanks for listening, perhaps using your magic brain powers. That’s X-Men type talk,, right?

Ruby Cool Guy

Posted by on Aug 15, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


I have been watching Scooby-Doo!: Mystery Incorporated, the most recent vintage of Scooby-Doo, recently. It’s quite good, I’ve quite enjoyed it, and I very much like talking about it. However, it is from the last few years, not the 90′s, so it is not relevant. What is relevant, however, is the soundtrack for Scooby-Doo that came out in the 90′s.

The album came out in 1998, which is weird, because there weren’t really any Scooby-Doo shows in the 90′s. There was a couple of video games, and a direct-to-video movie I already wrote about, but, for whatever, reason, they released an album. I mean, I had a Simpsons album as a kid, but The Simpsons had a lot of great, funny music in it. It had the “Trash of the Titans” song and some Sherry Bobbins stuff. There’s value there.

Scooby-Doo’s Snack Tracks, on the other hand, doesn’t seem very substantive. It’s some theme songs, although a couple of those were OK, a version of “Me and My Shadow” for some reason, and then, I presume, the sort of bubblegum pop songs that played during the earlier series whilst the gang all ran around and, like, went in and out of doors and such. You know, the music on those shows weren’t bad. I kind of like bubblegum pop. I think I’ve come around on this album. Scooby-Doo’s Snack Tracks, you’ve done it again!


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

You Shall Not Take Home A Piece Of The Crag

Posted by on Aug 14, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


The Mike O’Malley Show aired two episodes. I watched both of them. This is a true statement. The year was 1999, and for some reason I decided this was a sitcom worth checking out. I mean, I remembered Mike O’Malley from GUTS, and I was probably somewhat amused that he was starring on a sitcom. Also, it involved a guy who loved hockey, and I loved hockey, so I figured why not? I also remember enjoying it, to some degree, but obviously I was in the minority. I mean, evidently they made 13 episodes, but felt it worthwhile to not air 11 of them.

That’s not what interests me though, and not why I wrote this piece. It’s not about the late, lamented, obscure The Mike O’Malley Show. It’s about the fact that apparently Will Arnett co-starred as Jimmy, a friend of Mike’s. It is Jimmy’s wedding that makes Mike realize he needs to reassess his life. I do not remember Arnett being on the show. Of course, that’s probably because I did not know who Arnett was. Essentially nobody did. It was one of the first roles he had, and his first big role. It was 1999, after all. Running Wilde was a long way away.

Actress Kate Walsh was also on the show, and apparently Spalding Gray showed up as a professor of some sort. I know O’Malley eventually found some success with the sitcom Yes, Dear. By that, I mean I am pretty sure it aired more than two episodes. I mean, nothing lives up to GUTS in terms of popularity. If Mike wasn’t hanging out with Mo and some kids and the Aggro Crag, of what value was he to the average person?


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel

Posted by on Aug 13, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Mixed_Up_Files_DVD_coverFiles. Some TV shows have them. A lot of TV shows have them. Rockford had files. Shelby Woo had mystery files. Then, there is Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, and her mixed-up files.

You probably don’t remember From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. I didn’t. I only know it exists because the recently departed Lauren Bacall starred as the titular lady. I don’t think she’s the star, though. It seems to be some sort of made-for-TV movie about child runaways living in a museum, the MoMA to be exact, and then there is sort of a mystery but not really. According to Wikipedia, the kids spend “54 minutes” looking for a file to prove this statue called The Angel was made by Michelangelo. I don’t know if that is 54 minutes in the movie, or 54 minutes of real time. Is this movie in real time?

I presume Bacall is good in this, because she was a very talented actress. This is where her career was in the 90′s. Then again, they used to make made-for-TV movies back in the day. M. Emmet Walsh was also in it. The main kid doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page. Perhaps this is the height of her career. It happens.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter.

Coincidence On Verge Of A Trend

Posted by on Aug 12, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Did you know Garry Marshall (please, call him Garry) was in Never Been Kissed? He was in Never Been Kissed. I saw that movie on a bus. I remember very little about it. It wasn’t my thing at the time, as a child, and frankly it isn’t my thing now, as an adult, because it has like nostalgia and bullshit in it and an adult woman being like, “I’m going to go back to high school but I’ll be cool” which is profoundly stupid. I think that’s what happens. Something along those lines happen. Drew Barrymore definitely gets kissed. I can tell you that.

This movie has an amazing cast, I now realize. John C. Reilly is in it! James Franco! Octavia Spencer! Amazing. Also, David Arquette and Molly Shannon and Jessica Alba. Marshall plays “Rigfort” which is a funny name. I bet he’s a stuffy type. Did this movie have a sassy old woman in it? I feel like it did. I could be thinking of The Wedding Singer. That’s a good movie, I mean a lot of dudes are like “It’s good for an Adam Sandler comedy” and that is true. It’s one of his three good movies. The other two are Happy Gilmore and Punch Drunk Love. One of those is very different than the others.

There’s a Kottonmouth Kings song played in Never Been Kissed!? The world is a stupid place.

I just realized that I’ve written about adult women revisiting their tumultuous high school life two posts in a row. This was not intentional.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter