Existential Parachute Pants: A 90′s Pop Culture Podcast

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Impractical Masquerades

Posted by on Oct 24, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


There is a Halloween episode of The Adventures of Pete and Pete. In said episode, Larger Pete is getting too old for trick or treating and stuff, so he thinks Halloween is lame. He hasn’t quite gotten to the point where Halloween is a party day, or old enough to just simply not give a shit, so he’s all mad. This intrigues a group of miscreants called The Pumpkin Eaters, who are, naturally, led by Endless Mike. They wreak havoc and stuff, and Big Pete does not join them and ends up helping Little Pete set a trick-or-treating record.

This is not about all that, though. This is about The Pumpkin Eaters. Here’s the thing about them; their choice for how to hide their identities is impractical. They wear pumpkins on their heads, all jack-o-lantern style. This doesn’t make sense for several reasons. First, it is time consuming. They had to carve the pumpkins out, and get all the gunk out of them. Otherwise, their heads would be getting all gunky. Second, they are large and cumbersome. Imagine trying to move around with a pumpkin on your head? It’s all clunky and stuff. Also, they are easily breakable. You break your pumpkin, you need a new one.

I will grant it to The Pumpkin Eaters that it gives them a notable aesthetic. However, there are so many other ways to cover their faces. So many masks they could buy. I bet they could even find a pumpkin mask. Instead, they went with real pumpkins. I suppose nobody said they were bright, especially not Endless Mike.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

Mystery Bands Not Involving ? Or The Mysterians

Posted by on Oct 23, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


So, in order to have a short post, I was going to post a music video and be done with it. It has dudes from 90′s Nickelodeon in it. The premise is basically that there’s this band, see, and their neighbor is Marc Summers, and he is not cool with the noise. For the record, I’m on Summers’ side here, because I am not a “groovy” teen, but an adult who respects people’s right to peace of mind and a sense of personal space and quietude. Anyway, this band, bunch of dicks they are, decide revenge must be had.

Who do they help them get revenge? Why, three more Nickelodeon dudes, all redheads also. There’s Mike Maronna, aka Big Pete. Also, the dude who played Bobby Budnick on Salute Your Shorts, and Ferguson from Clarissa Explains It All. They run a gamut. Maronna looks similar, but just older, like your typical human being. Budnick looks alarmingly the same. Like, he hasn’t grown at all and his hair is still long and it creates a real disconnect in me, a human who understands the passage of time. Ferguson looks super different, with a shaved head and stuff. Anyway, they helps them get revenge or whatever, even though, if anybody should be getting revenge, it’s Summers, but the world is a cruel, unforgiving place, even in obscure music videos by obscure bands.

However, I could not find the video on YouTube. Is the probably that I don’t remember the band’s name, or the song’s name? Probably. I’m sure it’s on there. YouTube never dies. I could have maybe searched on a searching engine and maybe found it, but I didn’t bother. Did I really care that much about showing you all this music video? I mean, I don’t even really like it all that much. It’s just related to the 90′s is all, and there is a degree of curiosity factor to it, and perhaps an amusement factor in concept if not in execution. So I just decided to let it be. It’s out there somewhere, for those who deign to search. I hope they find what they are looking for.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

Vinnie Stoker, The Cool Dracula

Posted by on Oct 22, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


What if I were to say to you that there was a cartoon about a school full of funky, freaky monsters? Draculas and Frankensteins and such. There was such a show, and it was called Gravedale High. At the center, was a regular dude teacher. Guess who played him? What if I told you he was a nebbish? That’s right, Rick Moranis.

Moranis plays Max Schneider, who is basically a Mr. Kotter type, only he’s not being welcomed back. Jonathan Winters was also a voice. And some other noted voice actors. The most important thing to know is that Vinnie Stoker was both a vampire, and basically The Fonz. A 50′s greaser vampire! The wonders! This is basically the greatest idea I’ve ever heard. How did this only last 13 episodes? Probably because people weren’t interested in it and the ratings were bad.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

I’m Gonna Be The Man Who Writes This Blog Post

Posted by on Oct 21, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


We are at around 500 blog posts over 500 consecutive days. I don’t have an exact number, but it has to be around 500. That’s a nice round number. It has not just one zero, but two, and also a five. Throw in a one and it would be the perfect number for arbitrary milestones. So, I tried to think of a bit of pop culture from the 90′s related to the number 500. Powerman 5000 is so close, and yet so far.

The first thing that came to mind was the song “500 Miles,” because I saw Inside Llewyn Davis, and I enjoyed it. Then, I remembered “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by The Proclaimers. You know that song. It’s the one by the two Scottish twin dudes who were all like “I would walk 500 miles…” and so on and so forth. However, I figured that song was from the 80′s. And I was right, it was released in 1988. Ah, but it is still very much a bit of 90′s pop culture, at least in America.

For you see, it did not hit the charts in America until 1993. Then, it hit it hard, rising to number three in these United States. Why did this song suddenly hit big in this country five years after its release? Because of Benny & Joon. That movie, which featured Johnny Depp, included the song, and the rest is history. I wrote 500 blog posts (probably) but I will not write 500 more. I will write an indeterminate amount more. If my writing prospects and work prospects leave me having the time to write another 500 blog posts here on EPP, something has gone awry.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

The Rich Man’s Ryan Leaf

Posted by on Oct 20, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Last night, Peyton Manning set an NFL record for the most career passing touchdowns. He is a great quarterback, and also quite prominent in pop culture too. He’s hosted SNL and done, like, a million commercials. However, that wasn’t really in the 90′s. He was only drafted in 1998, and wasn’t a big star until the 2000′s. That’s not the 90′s. It exists in direct opposition to the 90′s. So, I decided to go back to the week that Peyton Manning was drafted, and to see what the number one song in the nation was.

The draft happened on April 18 and 19, in the olden times when the draft was two days, and it went all day both days. The number one song at that time? “All My Life” by K-Ci and JoJo. One time I used that song at the end of an episode of Existential Parachute Pants, and Seth did not recognize it. I remember the song quite well though. It was a smooth R&B love song about a dude finding his true love. It’s all like, “All my life, I’ve prayed for someone like you/And I thank God/That I finally found you.” That’s the only lyric I remember. It also could, in a way, describe how Indianapolis Colts fans felt about Manning! Also, Broncos fans maybe? Probably. He’s been super good for them.

I just wish that the draft had happened a month earlier so the number one song would have been “Gettin’ Jiggy with It.” I’ve also sung that at the end of an episode. I mean, we’ve done 65 episodes. I’ve done a lot of song lyrics. Nana na nana na na/Nana nana na na


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

Return Of Return Of The Rentals

Posted by on Oct 19, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Naturally, my go to Pandora station is Pavement, and sometimes a band called The Rentals pops up. They songs that have played I have enjoyed quite a bit, so I looked into them. Then, I found out that The Rentals are a project of former Weezer bassist Matt Sharp. Also, Maya Rudolph was in the band for a period of time. So, in short, The Rentals are pretty good, from what I’ve heard. Weezer? Less so. Matt Sharp’s better band is The Rentals.

Here’s to another short football season post!


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

Existential Parachute Pants: A 90′s Pop Culture Podcast – Episode 65: Adam Sandler

Posted by on Oct 18, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Suntan lotion good for you, and so is this podcast episode about the works of Adam Sandler in the 90′s. We talk SNL, movies, and even some of his comedic musics and what have you. Dirt is dished from a biography written for children. Seth is taken to task for semantic errors. It’s all you’ve ever wanted and more, more being talk about Rob Schneider’s The Animal.


iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/existential-parachute-pants/id680253940 Please rate the show or subscribe or leave a comment. All would be greatly appreciated. Don’t you love us? Aren’t we worthy of your love? Yes. Yes we are.

Twitter: @ExistentialPant, @ChrisXMorgan, @SethMacy Tweet at us. Maybe suggest a topic. We could use some topics.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/epp90 Technically a thing.

The theme song remains “Her Favorite Bra” by Dan Emery Mystery Band. Thanks for listening. Thanks, Pepper Boy.

Pete Rose’s Tombstone

Posted by on Oct 17, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Pete Rose is in the WWE Hall of Fame. This is, presumably, in part because he is banned from the Baseball Hall of Fame, and also because he is an unapologetic publicity hound, who will show up nigh anywhere. This includes WWE events, which is why he’s in the Hall of Fame.

He showed up to three straight Wrestlemanias, including two in the 90′s. Both times he received a Tombstone Piledriver from Kane, the erstwhile Isaac Yankem DDS. One time he was dressed as the San Diego Chicken. He was a great baseball player, and apparently a legendary wrestling personality. Just like Abe “Knuckleball” Schwartz.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

Pick-a-nick Baskets To The Extreme!

Posted by on Oct 16, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


You know what the problem with Yogi Bear was? He was not totally in our face! He was not proactive! Well, in 1991, Hanna-Barbera changed all that. That’s why they busted out the totally hip Yo Yogi! Not only that, but they did episodes in 3D! And you could get 3D glasses from Rice Krispies! They hung out at a mall!

It totally worked too… for 13 episodes. I guess they were just too radical. Or Yogi had to go back to his home planet, and died along the way.


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter

Notable Quotables

Posted by on Oct 15, 2014 in Existential Parachute Pants | 0 comments


Mystery Science Theater 3000 is not a show with a running plot, really. I mean, there’s a background, wraparound story, but mostly it is just watching cheesy movies, the worst they could find, and cracking wise. However, despite this fact, the show still had…  I wouldn’t quite call them catchphrases, but riffs that they trotted out on multiple occasions. I have many that I enjoyed, but two stick out to me as favorites.

First, there’s “Dad!” That doesn’t really get it across though. I speak, of course, of anytime they would affect a teenaged girl’s voice, as she spoke with a sense of disdain for her voice. It’s much more like “Dooodd.” It’s very silly and simple, sure, but I’m OK with that. Second, there is the much easier to comprehend, “I’m so naughty!” Then again, tone of voice is also key here. There is a joy to it, and a particularly pronunciation of “naughty” that is required, with the emphasis on the “ty.” This is trotted out whenever a character is doing something, well, “naughty.” Usually when some sort of impishness is afoot, you’ll hear “I’m so naughty!”

Now, the former doesn’t really have any context in which I use it. I just say it every now and then. Maybe when I hear somebody say “dad,” it’ll pop into my head. “I’m so naughty,” though, has clear usage. Whenever I see somebody on TV or whatever doing something pranskterish or slightly bawdy or what have you, anytime anybody is giggling at their wacky antics, it’s time to bust out an “I’m so naughty.”

Also, whenever I need to grunt in an annoyed fashion, I trot out the classic MST3K line “D’oh!”


You can find Chris Morgan on the Twitter